Pick-Up/Put-Down Method
Responsive Comfort with Gentle Boundaries
A hands-on approach that involves picking up your baby when they cry and putting them back down when they're calm. This method maintains physical connection while still teaching self-soothing skills, making it ideal for families who want to provide comfort during the learning process.
Why Choose This Method?
Discover the key advantages that make this approach effective for thousands of families worldwide.
Allows physical comfort while teaching independence
Responsive to baby's immediate needs and cues
Maintains strong parent-child connection during training
Lower stress for babies compared to extinction methods
Flexible approach that can be adjusted night by night
Works well for attachment-focused parenting styles
Step-by-Step Implementation
Follow our detailed guide to successfully implement this method with your baby.
Complete Your Bedtime Routine
Follow your normal calming bedtime routine, then place your baby in their crib awake but drowsy. Start the pick-up/put-down process immediately if baby begins to cry.
- Keep the routine exactly the same each night
- Put baby down completely awake to practice the full self-soothing process
- Stay calm and move slowly to avoid overstimulating baby
Complete Your Bedtime Routine
Follow your normal calming bedtime routine, then place your baby in their crib awake but drowsy. Start the pick-up/put-down process immediately if baby begins to cry.
- Keep the routine exactly the same each night
- Put baby down completely awake to practice the full self-soothing process
- Stay calm and move slowly to avoid overstimulating baby
Wait and Assess the Crying
When baby cries, wait a moment to see if it's just a brief protest or genuine distress. Look for escalating crying that indicates baby needs your help to calm down.
- Learn to distinguish between fussing and true distress
- Some babies need a minute or two to settle on their own
- Trust your instincts about when baby truly needs comfort
Wait and Assess the Crying
When baby cries, wait a moment to see if it's just a brief protest or genuine distress. Look for escalating crying that indicates baby needs your help to calm down.
- Learn to distinguish between fussing and true distress
- Some babies need a minute or two to settle on their own
- Trust your instincts about when baby truly needs comfort
Pick Up When Baby Is Upset
When baby is clearly upset and not settling, pick them up and hold them until they're calm and quiet. This might take anywhere from 30 seconds to several minutes.
- Hold baby upright against your chest for best calming effect
- Don't rock, walk, or sing - just provide still, calm comfort
- Wait until baby is completely calm before putting them down
Pick Up When Baby Is Upset
When baby is clearly upset and not settling, pick them up and hold them until they're calm and quiet. This might take anywhere from 30 seconds to several minutes.
- Hold baby upright against your chest for best calming effect
- Don't rock, walk, or sing - just provide still, calm comfort
- Wait until baby is completely calm before putting them down
Put Down When Calm
As soon as baby is calm and quiet (but still awake), put them back in the crib. Don't wait for them to fall asleep in your arms - the goal is to let them finish falling asleep independently.
- Put baby down while they're calm but alert
- Don't linger or pat after putting them down
- Be prepared to repeat the process if crying resumes
Put Down When Calm
As soon as baby is calm and quiet (but still awake), put them back in the crib. Don't wait for them to fall asleep in your arms - the goal is to let them finish falling asleep independently.
- Put baby down while they're calm but alert
- Don't linger or pat after putting them down
- Be prepared to repeat the process if crying resumes
Repeat the Cycle as Needed
Continue the pick-up/put-down cycle as many times as necessary until baby falls asleep in the crib. Some nights this might take many repetitions, especially initially.
- Stay patient - some babies need 20+ cycles initially
- Each pickup should be shorter as baby learns to self-soothe
- Maintain consistency even when you're tired
Repeat the Cycle as Needed
Continue the pick-up/put-down cycle as many times as necessary until baby falls asleep in the crib. Some nights this might take many repetitions, especially initially.
- Stay patient - some babies need 20+ cycles initially
- Each pickup should be shorter as baby learns to self-soothe
- Maintain consistency even when you're tired
Handle Night Wakings
Use the same approach for night wakings, unless it's time for a feeding. The goal is to help baby return to sleep without becoming dependent on being held.
- Rule out hunger, dirty diaper, or discomfort first
- Night wakings often improve as bedtime skills develop
- Be prepared for more frequent wakings initially as baby adjusts
Handle Night Wakings
Use the same approach for night wakings, unless it's time for a feeding. The goal is to help baby return to sleep without becoming dependent on being held.
- Rule out hunger, dirty diaper, or discomfort first
- Night wakings often improve as bedtime skills develop
- Be prepared for more frequent wakings initially as baby adjusts
Honest Assessment
Every method has advantages and considerations. Here's our honest evaluation.
Advantages
- Provides immediate comfort when baby is distressed
- Maintains physical connection during sleep training
- Responsive to baby's individual needs each night
- Lower stress for babies compared to cry-it-out methods
- Can be modified based on baby's temperament
- Parents feel good about providing comfort when needed
- Builds trust while teaching self-soothing skills
- Works well for families who can't tolerate crying methods
Considerations
- Very labor-intensive, especially in the first week
- Can take longer than more structured methods
- May confuse some babies about sleep expectations
- Risk of accidentally creating new sleep associations
- Can be physically exhausting for parents
- May not work for babies who become more stimulated when picked up
- Requires good judgment about when to intervene
- Can be inconsistent if parents have different comfort thresholds
Understanding the Philosophy Behind Pick-Up/Put-Down
The Pick-Up/Put-Down method was popularized by baby expert Tracy Hogg and is based on the principle of responsive parenting. Unlike extinction methods that require parents to ignore crying, this approach acknowledges that sometimes babies need help regulating their emotions.
The method works by gradually teaching babies that the crib is a safe, comfortable place where they can fall asleep independently, while still providing reassurance when they're genuinely distressed. Over time, babies need fewer pickups as they develop confidence in their ability to self-soothe.
Research on attachment theory supports this approach, showing that babies who receive responsive care during distress often develop better emotional regulation skills and more secure attachments with their caregivers.
Recognizing Different Types of Crying
Protest crying: Usually starts immediately when put down and may sound angry or demanding. This type of crying often decreases if you wait a minute or two before intervening.
Escalating distress: Crying that starts soft and builds in intensity, often accompanied by physical signs of distress like arching back or turning red. This crying typically requires pickup.
Overtired crying: High-pitched, inconsolable crying that suggests baby is overstimulated. These babies may need longer periods of comfort before they can settle.
Practice crying: Some babies make noise as they try different positions or self-soothing techniques. This is often intermittent and doesn't sound distressed.
Adapting Pick-Up/Put-Down for Different Ages
3-4 months: Babies this age may need more pickups initially as they're just learning self-soothing skills. Be patient and consistent.
5-6 months: Babies may test boundaries more, requiring fewer pickups but more consistency about the rules.
7+ months: Older babies may protest more initially but often learn faster. Some may try to 'game' the system by crying for pickups.
For all ages: Adjust your approach based on baby's temperament. Highly sensitive babies may need gentler handling, while more determined babies may need clearer boundaries.
Explore Other Methods
Not sure this method is right for you? Explore these alternative approaches.
Fading Method
Another gentle approach that gradually reduces parental assistance without the physical pickup component.
Learn More →Chair Method
A gradual method that provides visual comfort while maintaining physical boundaries.
Learn More →Respectful Training
An approach that emphasizes reading baby's cues while gently encouraging independence.
Learn More →Choose Your Path to Better Sleep
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Frequently Asked Questions
Find answers to common questions about our sleep training methods and platform.
Most experts recommend starting sleep training between 4-6 months old, when babies are developmentally ready to sleep for longer stretches. However, every baby is different, and our personalized approach helps you determine the right time for your little one.
Absolutely! We offer a variety of gentle, science-backed methods including no-tears approaches, gradual extinction, and modified Ferber techniques. You can choose the method that aligns with your parenting style and comfort level.
Most families see improvements within 3-7 days, with significant progress by 2-3 weeks. The timeline varies depending on your baby's age, temperament, and the method you choose. Our platform provides progress tracking to help you stay motivated.
We always recommend consulting with your pediatrician before starting any sleep training program, especially if your baby has medical conditions. Our methods can often be adapted, but professional medical guidance is essential.
Yes! We're confident in our methods and offer a 30-day money-back guarantee. If you don't see improvements in your baby's sleep within 30 days of following our guidance, we'll provide a full refund.
Yes! Our comprehensive approach covers both nighttime sleep and daytime naps. We provide specific guidance for establishing healthy sleep patterns throughout the day, helping your baby (and you) get the rest needed around the clock.